Life Undone
by feelingbroken
Summary: AH/AU. Bella's life is slowly becoming undone. Her dad is gone without a word, and she's desperate to find him. Slightly OOC, especially Renee, Charlie, and Edward.
1. Chapter 1

**Preface. **

Night always bring peace to some. For most people, even if they're going through hell, they can find some sort of comfort in the darkness. It provides a shield from their surroundings. It's where they find peace.

I did.

Sometimes it's their only escape from life. Desperately searching for a way out. There was a time where that was the case for me. I had nowhere to go.

This wasn't me. I wasn't the same. Though you couldn't see it on the outside, my life was slowly becoming undone.

One of the only people that kept my life normal was gone without a trace. He didn't come back for days. I went through hell trying to find him. I left behind my life, hurting those I cared about. I learned who was truly there for me, and I found love. But the trials I went through to find these things tore me apart inside, I was blindly searching for an escape.

And yet, even in the darkness, even in the _comfort_ I got from the darkness, I never just gave up. I realized I had too much to just give up and quit.

This is my story.

* * *

_**I know this isn't really a good explanation or set up for the story but there's too much to put in a prolouge. I've had this story written for a long time so I turned it into an Edward/Bella story. This will be slightly in-and-out of character at times, as I wrote a good chunk of this story for different characters and personalities. I'm still writing I need you, I'm just gonna write a lot of chapters and then post.**_

_**Thanks!**_


	2. Gone

1.

**Bella**

My eyes stared up at the ceiling. Moonlight peeked in through my closed blinds, but didn't seem to touch anything in the room. I knew it was late, but I couldn't bring myself to go to sleep. This time the usual heaviness of sleep didn't fight with my eyelids- I hadn't had that feeling in days. The lack of sleep was already taking it's toll on me, even if you didn't know what was going on you could tell just by looking at me- looked like I stepped out of a horror movie. I'm not usually tanned, but my skin was paler than ever. There were deep circles under my eyes, and they were starting to looked like bruises. When I washed my face earlier that night, it looked like I was getting wrinkles.

I couldn't escape the voices inside my head. No matter how old the arguments were, they were fresh in my mind, I remembered them word for word. They were constant.

I rolled over and looked at my alarm clock and sighed. When I saw the green lights flash from 4:35 to 4:36, I knew that I could add another night of insomnia to the list. This would make night number five. I never knew that I could even survive on no sleep for five days, but somehow I did. I tried to stop thinking about the cause of my insomnia, but it just made it worse. As hard as I tried, the arguments played over and over again in my mind like an annoyingly catchy pop song. The last one was on a constant loop.

_I had been asleep on the couch, but the voices drifting from the kitchen woke me up._

"_How could you do this to me? What about Bella? Or is that woman to important now_?"

"_How many times do I have to tell you? There's nothing going on!_"

"_How can I ever trust you again Charlie?_"

"_Renee, please listen to me._"

_In a small voice she said "Get out."_

_"But-"_

"_Get. Out_."

"_Renee, please-"_

_I knew she was just looking at him, not saying anything. The hurt in her eyes must have been to much because I heard a door open and close a few times, then his car start up and drive away. _

_I didn't realize that I was crying until I heard my mom walk quietly through the living room. I shifted my head on the couch to get a better look at her, and realized the couch was wet with my tears. I felt myself drifting to sleep shortly after that._

That wasn't the first time she kicked him out of the house, but it was the first for cheating. He always came back after a few days, yet that time was different. The other times I was at least able to see him. That time he didn't even call. There was a dark cloud that covered my world that time and it took out every last bit of normal.

I'd lived in that house in Forks for 17 years- all my life- but nothing ever felt familiar when he left. My daily routine seemed off. Talking to my mom was awkward. Dinners were quiet. Life seemed to turn upside down, but it always went back to normal. That time, it was different. It scared me to think that he was gone for good. Out of our house, out of our lives.

So I just layed there and stared at the ceiling, wishing my life would go back to normal. Wishing I could hear him snore in front of the tv with mom in his arms. Wishing this house didn't feel so big and impersonal.

But- at least my life- wishes don't come true.

I could have been hopeful and said that they don't _yet_, but I had a feeling it wouldn't that I should stop wishing and get back to reality.

Wishing is a disease.

* * *

Mornings have never liked me. I tried, but I could never win. 7:00 my alarm went off, telling me it was time for another long day at school. I opened my window and light poured in temporarily blinding me. My best friend lives next door- her room faces mine. As always, her blinds were still shut and her light still off but the rest of her house was busy with activity.

I turned to go inside my closet. When I turned on the light and saw the dismal sight that was my wardrobe, I made a mental note to ask mom for money for new clothes. I went to take a shower, threw on jeans and a tee shirt, and went downstairs.

When I got downstairs I saw that my mom wasn't there. To be honest, I would've been surprised is she _was_ there. I guess she feels the same way that I do about hating to be in the house when he's gone.

I got myself breakfast and went back upstairs to brush my teeth and do _something_ with my hair before I left. I quickly finished my English homework, grabbed my backpack and jacket- it was still cold in Forks- and headed out.

My normal, usual, daily routine.

Yet it felt different- wrong, almost like it wasn't really me doing it. It was as if something took over my body and made everything seem wrong, no matter how right it is.

As always, Alice Cullen, my best friend, was waiting outside for me. She's been my best friend since sixth grade when her family moved here. She has two brothers- her twin Edward and older brother Emmett. Emmett's 18 and a senior, Edward's 17 and a junior like me and Alice. Emmett is huge with dark hair and dark eyes and ridiculously loud and obnoxious, but in a way where you can't help but like him. Edward is more quiet, but will turn on the charm often. His hair dirty blond hair is usually messy, and he has the purest green eyes you will ever see. He knows when to back off, but can really go off at you if you piss him off.

Alice is the tiniest thing I have ever seen in my life, but she's very energetic. She has only two loves in her life-Visa and AmEx, if they left she would die. It's amazing to me how she's she always slept in, yet was ready in 7 ½ minutes and got outside my house be fore me. Oh yeah, and she always looked amazing, much better than I coujld ever look, and she doesn't even try.

We in her car and raced to school to make it by 8:15. Normally we talk the whole time. This time I didn't even say a word. I didn't even say _hi_. When he's gone it seems like even Alice runs out of words. And for Alice, that's rare.

I hate the silence, _especially_ when I'm with Alice, so you can imagine that this time I was actually glad to get to school. It wasn't until we got to school when she asked the question she already knew the answer to but felt she had to ask anyway. "Is he back yet?"

"No," I answered, knowing she would hate the answer as much as I did.

She sighed "Don't stress yourself out about it, he always comes back after a few days."

I couldn't hold it in any more. " But it's been MORE than just a few of days Alice!" I yelled "He's _never_ been gone for more than five days after an argument. He's hasn't even been gone this long for a business trip. I'm really worried." I felt like I was about to cry.

I knew that Alice could sense how worried I was. She wasn't my best friend for nothing. "Bella" she began, "I know your worried about him. I'm not saying you shouldn't be. You have every reason to be worried. _I _have every reason to be worried. But this is between your mom and him. You need to stop worrying and get on with life."

"I can't _not_ worry about him." We were at our lockers by now. "It's as the world knows he's gone. Nothing feels right. Not my house, not my mom, _nothing_. I might never see him again."

Alice knows me better than anybody else in the whole world- maybe even better than I know myself. Yet she didn't know what to say. I've known since we were eleven, and this was the first time I've actually seen her seem almost scared.

The warning bell rang, but she and I stared at each other, not knowing what to say. Almost _unable_ to say anything.

From behind me I heard a familiar "hey." This was a voice I knew well- since sixth grade. One who was always comforting when needed, but knew when to back off. Which lately, was often.

"Hey, Edward." I said said smiling.

"Hey, I'm sure you two are in some deep, girly, hormone-infused conversation, but the bell's gonna ring any minute, and I don't want to have to take the blame for my two best friends.

Alice sighed and rolled her eyes. "Edward..."

"He's right, let him be chivalrous another time. We need to get to class." I said.

"Can I walk favorite sister and best friend to homeroom" He said in some accent that I'm still trying to place.

"Really? Is this how you impress the ladies or something lame like that? Back off from my best friend, you can't have her" Alice said. I rolled my eyes, she's been swearing that me an him will together one day since we've met.

Edward just smiled and raised his eyebrows at me. I laughed and said "No, then you'll be late. We can walk ourselves. We'll see you in math."

"Alright. See you then."

"Bye."

"Ugh, my brother is such a dork!" Alice said to me as we entered our homeroom.

"Yeah, but it's impossible to _not_ like him." I pointed out.

"Easy for you to say, you don't have to live with him." She said

All of a sudden Jess said with a face "Do you realize how boring our homeroom is?"

"Do you realize how off topic you can get?" I teased.

"Quiet down" said Mr. Hackett, our homeroom teacher said _long_ before he got in the room. In fact, I'm about 96% sure he was still down the hall when he said that.

As he began to take roll, I thought back to the conversation between my mom and dad 5 days ago. I could hear the anger in her voice switch to hurt, pain, then back to anger. I could hear the sadness in his. The oddly placed shame, the pleading, the-

A kick to the back of my chair jolted me back to reality.

" _Bella_ _Swan_!"

"Here!"

"Jerry Turner"

"Here"

His voice was soon drown out by my thoughts again. As soon as the bell rang and I knew it was time for English, I immediately wished I was anywhere but here. Even being at home eating with my lately estranged mother sounded more appealing than facing Ms. Whaler. Alice, knowing this, tried to offer me help.

"You could fake a stomach ache." She said, looking down the hall.

"No thanks," I told her, but wishing I could. But, like I often have to remind myself, wishing is pointless.


End file.
